Last night I made a long walk

on the long road of memory

as I walked real ones

in the darkness.

It came all pouring out,

all that I had lost,

all that I had done wrong,

all that I hadn't done.

I was lost in the darkness

inner and external,

lost in the night of my thoughts,

lost in the nightmare of my life.

An architect of my fate

I had built badly,

now I wandered among the ruins

seeing the dead.

There was no escape,

the first light of morning

just herald of

one terrible day more.

I had died when you died,

I just didn't realise it then,

didn't expect this last, long

spasm that would go on for years.

27.02.2013