DIDN'T GO

I cancelled, didn't go - why should I

take that long walk there and back

just to hear pointless talk

from lips behind which

no knowledge of this exists?

Just an absolute vacuum of solutions.

It's a theatre of the absurd, a charade

worthy of Beckett and Ionesco

and so forth, a facade acted out

so that all can go on pretending

- except you, who flew away.

And for what?

So I laid on the bed in your scent,

with the cats on my side,

surfed the web until slept

again till night had fallen,

awakened from seeing their

dead faces alive again,

and it was dark, the pale light

of the brown and gray day

no longer whispering

of what should have been

and what was not done.

Purgatory of the starless autumn

night had engulfed the hell of

the bleak October day

and already I cursed the weak,

pointless dawn to come.

15.10.2019