I'm tired

my stomach is reacting to stress again

have to worry for so many people

yet never enough

a scare yesterday

followed by one today

aching belly

and a tired mind

connection

to carry me through this night

on the black tide of coffee

I can't sleep wake

to some new scare

better to be awake

read and sit in the bathroom

as legs go numb

25.11.2014

If you can't cry for those

dying now,

don't cry for those

who are but skeletons

in mass graves.

Tears can't revive the dust.

24.11.2014

gaia

in the end

we all shall

embrace the earth

our great mother

and it shall

kiss our crumbling bones

our ash

18.11.2014

in aeternum resonat

all who we have loved

we must give back

to the world

all who we have lost

we must give back

to the cosmos

ourselves in the end

we must give back

to the nature

18.11.2014

mist

above the fields of snow

melting away

winter melting away

for autumn to

stay

18.11.2014

from our hands

the gifts

of life and death

to all

inhabitants

of the world

and to you

of all people

I gave death

18.11.2014

everything coils around it still

mist and remains of snow

among the remaining trees

the clearing hacked

in our lives

the loss forever there

my mother

the un-beating heart

of our lives

your absence

the stumps

of our lives

still here

16.11.2014

A Poetic End

I pitied Edgar Allan,

thinking of his last days

kidnapped and drunk

forced to vote again and again.

But then I read

he supported slavery

and thought

it was a just end for him.

Supporting the enslavement of others

never believing it to happen to him,

I just wonder if he had any regrets

during those days of bondage.

11.11.2014

Ars Poetica

Poetry can be a painting

made with words,

poetry can be a dagger,

it can be a salve

and it can be a soap box

but it should never be

just one of the above.

07.11.2014

kuorevesi

so bleak

these forest roads

on this november

afternoon darkening

the hamlets

half-abandoned

fields on land

that never gave much

the dark waters

solitary

lights

life

07.11.2014

When a rich man dies,

it's a poor woman's joy.

Don't complain that

it's in bad taste.

When a poor man dies

a rich woman doesn't notice.

30.10.2014

c. m. bowra 1898-1971 in his later years

fat don

with a falling face

still after

all those public school boys

raped by their headmasters

rectums with lesions

to give with

the old slumping dick

some oxford tutoring

30.10.2014

"there is someone worse than us,

so don't blame Israel",

they say, the zionists,

like I would be on a mission

to find the worst single state in the world

instead of opposing evil universally

28.10.2014

a coward blames the victim

to avoid being the next one

ensuring there will be a next one

28.10.2014

life

is the fear

we experience

before death

18.10.2014

love

what doesn't it

ruin

changing to sorrow

through

loss

18.10.2014

Years

like leaves

ripped off from

the branches of a birch

by the autumn wind

growing colder

12.10.2014

all the wounds of life

tears

on your gravestone

12.10.2014

Throw a stone,

liberate yourself

in action

if you can't

liberate your body

and your land.

09.10.2014

Cave art from Sulawesi

Stencils of hands turned to dust,

red paint

all that has been left

for forty-thousand years

blink of an eye

09.10.2014

Pale green, orange, yellow and brown

- the fallen leaves on the ground,

the autumn collected.

09.10.2014

Every fallen leaf in autumn

is a a complete story

of life, death

and rebirth.

09.10.2014

Lutwidge the Snark

Those who want to hide

what they are

build labyrinths

for explorers to get lost in

instead of seeing

what was before them,

the burned pages of diaries

which family didn't want

to be seen.

09.10.2014

Do not reach for the beauty

which doesn't itself recognize yet,

only the blossom which opens in self-awareness

shall long be the joy of others.

09.10.2014

Only radical people change the world.

Conservative,

in ideology or in mindset,

only preserve what shall fall,

rotten,

either through the axe of the radical

or the slow decay of time.

And even this,

so long defended

was the work of radicals

of bygone eras.

From the very beginning

of his work of faith

has the preserver lost.

05.10.2014

of time

the past

a depository

of memories

true

and imagined

a path

through life

through

geological eras

through cosmic history

and we

we have the honour

to be included

when 'today'

is no more

and we

as true

and lifelike

and imagined

misunderstood

shall be a part of it

memories

shelved

turning to dust

04.10.2014

Just like hiding a great vice

behind a small one

you must hide a great virtue

behind a small one

and hope that the world

forgives you at least that

04.10.2014

Think of death

as a state of being

and then

think of white sheet of paper

untarnished

Death is not like that

there is no promise

like the sheet contains

of existence

there is nothing

that is the point

nothing

04.10.2014

We can't accept death

because we can't understand non-existence

It's not sleep

no matter what you made

Socrates say, Plato

Dying is dissolution

death is nothing

Not even a void

Not even a hope

04.10.2014

from the void born

you return to the void

like a universe

from nothing

to nothing

and between

all

04.10.2014

sounds of rain

raindrops

from the dark

beyond the windows

lost the hour

the time like frozen

in black

in rest

night and the world

opening away

in to the void

the existence

still

under the clouds

unseen

stars hidden

like words

unsaid

forever

remembered

04.10.2014

Mundus senescit

Reading Issa in the lavatory

can't really agree about flea bites looking lovely

even on a beautiful girl

stress and bad diet

keep me turning pages

as wind howls outside

No world of dew this

but a muddy pool of rainwater

where we float

fallen leaves

bright in the murky light

20.09.2014

To Fingal O'Flahertie from Dublin

1

The problem with Dorian Gray, dear Oscar,

is that one simply doesn't care about him;

a beautiful butterfly turns into an ugly one

thanks to the soot of industrial revolution,

but so many beautiful butterflies remain pristine

that one turning ugly,

figuratively, literally, secretly and openly,

simply doesn't matter.

Let it be a moth that flies into a flame,

at least that will be remembered

still in the morning

as an anecdote to tell to others,

but butterflies - the meadows and fields

are full of them

and their hidden secrets.

2

Mirror to his society,

mirror to his class -

but there are so many others

that serve the same

in their non-fictional existence

from Edward the Bordello Prince of Wales

to the barefoot slum kids

coughing their sick lungs out

among the blackened tiles

of those working class wards

where the Dorians went

only to prey on the weak

and the young.

19.09.2014

non omnis moriar

forgot to take my medicine yesterday

after coming from the lab

so dizzy day today

headache making excursions in the frontal lobe

made a walk in the autumn

falling as thousand yellow leaves

thought about when i last ran

couldn't remember it

fresh air in the lungs

momentary relief

back here inside

among the dust of passing life

a cup of coffee

still sore about scotland

listening to haydn of all people

praise to maria theresa of austria

too polished

too calm

too much Vienna

too much time inside

in these rooms of memory

too few white tablets

too few

walks without destination

where you just lose everything

but the forward carrying motion

through space and time

in that moment

that motion is enough

to keep everything else away

a pocket universe

free of thought

bliss

19.09.2014

an autumn scene

the scattering wind calmed

the fallen leaves of birches

yellow and brown

wet and crumpled

on the ground

under the still green aspens

the oak that climbs

to the sky

more each year

19.09.2014

looking back

all our dreams and hopes

dust and ashes

dust and ashes

we lost

we lost it all

we lost you all

gave nothing

but failure

failure

how we betrayed you

how we betrayed ourselves

how we betrayed

our dreams and hopes

all of them

ashes and dust

19.09.2014

In auctumnus

Autumn forests

in the pale light

of the September Sun

the songs have ended

the nests are empty

now it's time for jackdaws

yellow leaves

falling

like the brief thoughts

the mind entertains

on these walks

outside the frame of thought

of warm, long days

and warm, white nights

of gone summer

the autumn has it's own

thoughts, these brief

sentences that slip away

like breeze lifting them

beyond the reach of thought

and to the damp muddy earth

now the winter is coming

the long dark days

of pure white and chill

with it's own heavy thoughts

that tie one to the frozen ground

under starless sky of clouds

so long until

in the earliest spring

the autumn returns

these empty roads

these empty forests

where the last year

this year

decomposes

to bring forth new life

18.09.2014

De bene esse

We have become

the light of a waning autumn evening,

tired, old

and caressing all we see

with fragile, tender hands.

17.09.2014

you are the blade

that pierced my life

cutting deep

cutting wounds

that can never close

wondrous wounds

ever-bleeding

whose raw edges

are pain of love

16.09.2014

Do not weep

for those who have gone

under the earth

for they sleep

in their mother's embrace

and with all

the generations of their forebears

all the burdens of life

are over for them

and we ourselves

shall soon be tucked

into the mother earth's

bosom

and this brief

moment of existence

shall separate us

from them

no more

15.09.2014

From the news

Don't speak about freedom

when you make threats

to deny it,

o leader of the "Free World",

when you say that sanctions

shall be the reward

of seeking liberty

for the Palestinians.

Thyself are not free

when in your mind

some do not deserve

what you claim

to be the greatest good.

15.09.2014

Of "cursed poets"

There are no "cursed poets"

anymore than there are

cursed carpenters, cursed cleaners,

nursed nurses, cursed plumbers

or cursed waiters.

There are just a lot of unhappy people,

some of who have written,

some of who write poetry.

11.09.2014

History

is where we all

make our

final home.

05.09.2014

I gave you a flower,

bright as your eyes,

clear as the azure summer sky.

You turned it down,

I could not know

that in your mind

a withered flower

stood in autumn winds

under a cloudy grey sky

and that no love of mine

could bring that flower

to blossom again.

01.09.2014

With every passing moment

more and more of us

becomes embedded in the past

until nothing remains

in that ever-changing "now".

29.08.2014

The night is here again,

the blessed night

when there is no trouble,

when until morning

at rest my life awaits.

Light is change,

the dark beyond the windows

just is.

I am content

with no change,

with the dark

that removes the world.

Just the light of a few lamps,

just peace, a book

or two to read,

something of no consequence

from the TV,

as the personal world of mine,

standing still, holds.

30.08.2014

The Strong

support and demand

the pacifism

of the Weak

To themselves

the Strong

put the burden

of Power and War

To the Weak

the Strong assign

the Holy Martyrdom

of the Forgotten

26.08.2014

I who am,

I who exist

shall soon not be

and it is

as it should be

consciousness

like virtual particles

emerging from the vacuum

briefly

to experience

existence

25.08.2014

Let us not forgive

the rich

a single breath

they take

07.08.2014

there can be no liberty

among poverty

except that of the mind

rising to crush the poverty

and those that speak of freedom

in their grand houses

meaning not people

but of money trade and everything

that is of numbers and greed

07.08.2014

THE LOST CHILDREN OF GAZA

A child cut in half,

a child with no brains in the open skull,

a child with intestines hanging out,

a child with no legs,

a charred child on an operating table still living

without hope

a child fallen apart leg missing belly open

still alive

against all hope the doctors and the nurses

give few minutes more of life and pain

a child whose buttocks groins missing

so gender can't be known but still alive

still dying

the lost children of Gaza

the dead

the injured

the traumatized

the sister who doesn't talk

the sister who doesn't close her eyes

after their mother died

all of them

sacrificed

on the altar of Israel

and it's "self-defense"

of mass murder

01.08.2014-16.01.2025

Morning, haze

over the fields

of green

under the sky

already

so blue.

09.06.2014

The Flag of the Republic

In Spain the flag of the Republic

flies again on the streets.

Seventy-five years 

after the fall of Madrid

the war is not yet lost.

The flag of the Republic

is carried on the streets,

and the masses manifest

that what was thought dead

lives and the million lost

can still win.

07.06.2014

After thunderstorm

a quiet, cool evening.

A landscape in rest,

a mind in rest.

The light grows dim

as birds continue to sing.

I have nowhere to go

but here.

06.06.2014

birches and junipers

all in green

bathed in morning light

as the wind

re-arranges shadows

02.06.2014

The time of the year

when fledglings

hop around on the ground

trying to fly

and the neighbour's cat

and the local fox

are on the prowl

scattering feathers.

31.05.2014

raindrops

and clouds:

the evening

of the last

day of may

31.05.2014

third opening of the tomb of henry vii of luxembourg(1275-1313),

king of germany(1308-1313) and holy roman emperor(1312-1313)

remains of a

boiled head

and burned bones

ash

and

some master weaver's cloth

enclosing them

more valuable

than those

and the emperor's

silver toys

crown

orb

sceptre

31.05.2014